2012
Tuesday, December 1, 2009 at 6:46PM 
"Dr. Adrian Helmsley, part of a worldwide geophysical team investigating the effect on the earth of radiation from unprecedented solar storms, learns that the earth's core is heating up. He warns U.S. President Thomas Wilson that the crust of the earth is becoming unstable and that without proper preparations for saving a fraction of the world's population, the entire race is doomed. Meanwhile, writer Jackson Curtis stumbles on the same information. While the world's leaders race to build "arks" to escape the impending cataclysm, Curtis struggles to find a way to save his family. Meanwhile, volcanic eruptions and earthquakes of unprecedented strength wreak havoc around the world." Written by Jim Beaver
Blah blah blah... 2012. Highly anticipated movie of the century, of the millennia, of the lifetime, of the ... who am I kidding? If you went into this film expecting the least bit of realism then you are terribly in for a disappointment. Now, the fact that I wanted to see this, back when they were showing the previews before I went on deployment, is the only reason I put this Haji-scammed version into the DVD player at work. Being deployed lowered my standards tremendously so I expected very little from this... and I am really glad I did because it was predictable and obnoxious. How many times can the main cast barely escape death? And when I say barely, I take seriousness in saying just scraping by from the treads of the rear tires on a motor home, yes, a motor home. And when I say barely escaping, I mean countless maneuvers in a private plane, that no one was qualified to fly, through clashing buildings overhead, and difficulty gaining proper altitude through the streets of Los Angeles, or whatever. Try taking a limousine and driving it just at the right moments and speeds that a gaping death hole is unable to catch up with you AND that you are able to miraculously dodge every obstacle that heads towards your path, and there are a lot of obstacles... a lot. Seriously, like obnoxious amounts.
Aside from the fact that this director's hands are still digitally tainted from all the editing, the movie wasn't too bad. It has a good cast and, darnit, they tried their damnedest to achieve a believable environment, whether or not you can see past a nuclear exploding volcano, they sure tried their hardest to make it something... something at least! And something it was. The main character is played by John Cusack and the supporting roles, not to down play them the least bit, are Amanda Peet, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Thandie Newton, Oliver Platt, Woody Harrelson, and Danny Glover, amongst others. Like I said, good cast... I don't know what other storyline could go with this 2012 theory but they somehow managed to turn it into a Noah's Ark ordeal, weird? Naw, I've seen weirder. I could deal with that... I see where they were going.
All in all it became apparent, immediately, that the lust for digital enhancements was the main alpha pubescent factor, almost like Jose who had the first prominant adams apple in 6th grade, like f*ckin look at me! But, once you see the movie and the first action scene you are smiling, smiling because you are holding back laughter not that it's funny but because of how obnoxious it is. Quite entertaining, visually, that is and I have always liked Woody Harrelson and Thandie Newton so it made it worth while. Hey guys, they tried alright! It's not the actors, that's my main point!
If the creators', and I say creators meaning computers because without computers there would be actors sobbing in fear of a terrible giant green screen, back to what I was saying -- If the creators' are able to recover from their cut and paste particle enhancement overloads and are all caught up with prescriptions of eye-correction spectacles then they may be able to sit down an legitimately watch the movie... it will be like one of those moments where it's like: Dude, did I really just punch Becky's right boob? I did and I am damn sure it wasn't the best move.. I wish I could take that back but I can't and now it's engrained impressionably.
Not a bad flick. And yes I said flick babe.
Oooh Shiny!
Movies
Reader Comments (1)
Hahaha...Good post hun :) Ummm so I take it you didn't like it to much LOL....I still want to see it though!!!!